To write, to be a writer, I have to trust and believe in myself as a speaker as a voice for the images. I have to believe that I can communicate with images and words and that I can do it well. A lack of belief in my creative self is a lack of belief in my total self and vice versa -- I cannot seperate my writing from any part of my life. It is all one. When I write it feels like I'm carving bone. It feels lke I'm creating my own face, my heart - a Nahuátl concept. My soul makes itself through the creative act. It is constantly remaking and giving birth to itself through my body. It is learing to live with la Coatlicue that transforms living the Borderlands from a nightmare into a numinous experience. It is always a path and stat to something else.
She writes while other people sleep. Something is trying to come out. She fights the owrds pushes them down, down, a woman with morning sickness in the middle of the night. How much easier it would be to carry a baby for nine months and the expel it permanently. Theses continueous multiple pregnancies are going to kill her.
Xóchitl in Cuícatl is Nahuátl for flowers and song, flor y canto